Thursday, July 9, 2009

Men of Honor and Best Women

We’ve all seen Made of Honor, right? The 2008 comedy starring Patrick Dempsey fictionalized a growing trend that I absolutely love. So many brides and grooms these days are choosing opposite-sex "honor attendants" for their weddings, and if that’s who their very best friend just happens to be, then more power to ‘em! The rules of weddings are changing, and this is a great example of a non-traditional twist that can make a wedding all the more individual and unique.

Men of Honor

Maybe you grew up as next door neighbors, riding trikes and pestering the ice cream man. Or maybe he copied your notes in sophomore chemistry, and you’ve been best friends ever since. In any case, he is your first and only choice to stand by your side while you say your “I do’s”. Here are a few pointers to help your Man of Honor do his duty:

* A Man of Honor (or Dude of Honor as I’ve sometimes heard) can definitely plan a wonderful shower for the bride-to-be. If he’s comfortable being the only guy in the room, a traditional event is always an option, or go for a couples’ shower so all the boys can join in the fun.

* However, you may or may not wish to ask him to head up the Bachelorette Party detail. This element depends on so many factors: Is he married? Does he know the other members of your bridal party? Is he comfortable with the situation? Are the rest of the girls? Consider this one carefully.

* As for the various other events and decisions the Maid of Honor traditionally helps with – fittings, rings, toasts and such – your main man can certainly do all that and more. He can also lend all the support and assistance you need on the big day.

* And when it comes to suiting up for the ceremony, a tux to match the rest of the guys and a tie in the color of your bridesmaids’ dresses is the perfect look for the Man of Honor. Add a boutonnière to match your bouquet and he’s good to go!

Best Women

For as long as they can remember, they’ve been two peas in a pod. Whether she’s a sister, a cousin or a dear close friend, the groom’s Woman of Honor holds a very special place in the wedding party. In some ways her role is the same as any man who holds the title, and in others it is quite different.

* One of the Best Man’s most notorious pre-wedding duties is planning a Bachelor Party for the groom. With a few notable exceptions, this job should almost always be passed to male member of the groom’s wedding party. This guys’ night tradition is just no fun for girls.

* On the other hand, a Best Lady can make a great toast, keep an eye on the rings and handle just about anything else the role might throw her way!

* And when it comes to outfitting this special gal, the options are many. How about a tux? No, really – it could look great! (See the look above from Ralph Lauren as a case-in-point.) Also, a special dress that compliments the bridesmaids’ dresses could also work well.

Finally, below you'll find a few links to help you plan ahead for your special Man of Honor or Best Woman. Best of luck!


The Knot: "Men of Honor and Best Maids" "How to Be a Female Best Man" Forums: Best Male Friend for Maid of Honor

Peggy Post Etiquette: Male Maids of Honor

1 comment:

Ken said...

I have seen this trend, as well and I like it. Occasionally a bride or groom will ask, somewhat timidly, if such a thing is possible or okay. My answer is always the same: it's your wedding so have the attendants you want, those who have added meaning to your life.
Maybe I'm just contrary, but sometimes the wedding traditions-the "rules"-just get in the way of a couple having the wedding of their dreams.
Thanks for posting this.